


Tehran

by Sydbond



Series: Softer [3]
Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: Adam saving Jaz, After Tehran, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Realizing it, Tehran, at the worst moment, wump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydbond/pseuds/Sydbond
Summary: Adam processes Tehran. During and after.





	Tehran

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Asandbakken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asandbakken/gifts).



> Ok guys, I got two prompts about the whole Tehran thing and decided to mash them up :) This one deals with during Tehran and after I’m there... J and Amanda, this is your chapter :)

She’s been taken. 

Adam stares at the van as it leaves, feeling like time just stopped. 

More than that, it's not just time; it’s his entire world. The pause, the stop, the easiness in which everything unraveled is just mind blowing and it leaves him panting, desperately trying to get air inside his lungs. 

It’s hard to do so, to breathe normally, harder than it should be. 

Jaz is gone. 

The woman he always has by his side, the one he’s come to think of as the constant in his life, is gone. 

And he’s not sure if he’ll ever get her back. 

He stays there a long time, not even caring to answer when his teammates blast questions through his coms, still trying to find a way to push air inside his lungs. 

Then everything starts to turn black. His vision is gone in an instant, first blurry, then peppered with black points, and before he knows it, he can’t see anything. 

He knows he’s having a panic attack and he tries in vain to wheel himself back in, but there’s not enough air and this itchy professor costume is choking him and he can’t help but feel like everything would be good if he just had Jaz next to him. 

She’d laugh at him, call him a pansy and bump her shoulder into his. She’d probably say something corny just to make him laugh, and then her smile would light up her whole face even if she tried to hide it. 

It’s always been easy between the two of them. Too easy. 

He’s always doubted why, but now he’s absolutely certain. 

Adam Dalton made the mistake of falling for his sniper. 

And just as he consciously voices it for the first time in his head, he finds himself unsure if he’ll ever see her again. 

It’s Preach who finds him. He talks in soothing voices, presses his open, warm palms to various parts of his body, trying to calm him down, to force him to take a second to regain his sanity, to breathe more deeply. 

Adam regains his vision, but he becomes acutely aware of the gaping hole in his chest. They need to find Jaz, otherwise he’ll always be incomplete. 

He silently curses himself over his precedent outburst, his lack of level when it came to decision making. Playing with his life is something, but playing with hers is a whole other one. Now he’ll always have that dark cloud looming over his head, every time he’ll have to make a decision, he knows what he’ll see, what he’ll think about, will be those big eyes of her, looking at him as the van brings her away. 

They get back to Hussein’s place and he sinks into a chair, eyes lost in the empty space in front of him, wondering how he managed to lose the only person he’s ever felt such strong feelings for. 

Those are the same feelings that pushed him to snap at her for her off the book shot earlier, this same fluttering of the heart that scared him and forced him to push past it and send her to her almost certain demise. Now he’s torn between cursing those feelings, or leaning on them to convince the Deputy Director to save her. 

Because he can’t _not_ save her. He needs her to breathe; that much is obvious from his constantly heaving chest. 

Patricia relents and lets him stay for a bit with his team, but he knows they shouldn’t be allowed to do this. Maybe she heard the desperation in his voice, the complete void Jaz left in his soul. He wanders everywhere, desperately trying to find something, anything that could help him get her back. He realizes that Adam without Jaz is just a hollow shell. It’s disconcerting to feel, but he has no time to wallow on this. He’s got to find Jaz. Now. 

Otherwise he might lose himself.

The DIA gets restless. Adam starts to pace the hallway and spends hours looking at his computer, listening to every tidbit of French Jaz gave them over and over again. The guys get worried, more by his state than by the situation. He’s also worried, because he’s always prided himself on being level-headed, on being able to make the good decisions no matter how hard. 

The right decision is clear here. They have to go back to Turkey. But he just can’t bring himself to do it. Adam won’t abandon her. She wouldn’t abandon him, so how could he even consider doing it?

Eventually, Preach forces a nap on him, and Adam finds himself staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep even though he’s exhausted. He ends up taking his duffle from under the bed, reaching for the letters he keeps tucked there in case of emergency. 

Everyone had to write one as they joined the team, some sort of farewell stuff meant for family. Adam swipes through the enveloppes, going through a bunch of names. Amir’s parents, his sister’s name, McG’s mom, Preach’s wife… Jaz’s letter has no address.

It’s wafer thin and Adam stares at it for a long time before he opens up the enveloppe. This is wrong, but he can feel his spirits sinking down, and he needs her words to convince himself that he’s doing the right thing by staying in Tehran. 

He doesn’t expect what he finds. 

A single sheet of paper, a few lines scribbled in her loopy scrawl, starting with a single name. 

_Adam_

The letter is for him. 

_He’s_ the one she considers family. 

His heart stops beating for a second and the only thing he does is stare at his name, written in her familiar handwriting. 

It takes him a long time to find the courage to read the rest of the letter, and when he does he finds that he can’t because his hands are shaking from both fatigue and sadness. He closes his eyes, letting tears fall, asking himself how in the hell they ended up in this situation. 

How did he manage to fall in love with her, and then fail to protect her?

Once he stops shaking, Adam starts reading. He owes it to her after all. 

_Adam,_

_You said I had to write a letter to my family, but you know as well as I do that I don’t have one. You’re the first one who believed in me, the first CO who treated me with respect, and I’ll forever cherish that. You grew into so much more than my CO and I wish so many things when it comes to you, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m writing you this letter because you’re the most important person in my life._

_Thank you for all you’ve done for me_

_Jaz_

The letter is so Jaz; a handful of words that seem meaningless, yet mean the world. He realizes that this is exactly why he fell in love with her, because she doesn’t need to talk for the two of them to understand each other. They do, implicitly, relying on trust and admiration and something that looks a lot like love on both sides. 

 

xxxxx

 

He listens again to the tape until he finds that its a sheep. Only then does he allows himself to fall asleep. It’s a restless night, peppered with dreams, and he finds himself constantly rolling on the mattress, reaching for her. 

In his dream, Jaz is waiting for him in his bed. It’s no big deal, the whole setting looking so _easy_ that he can’t help smiling at her. Her hair is spilling over her shoulders and she’s wearing his T-shirt. 

It’s not the first time Jaz enters his dreams, but it’s the first time that it feels so natural. He slips into bed with her and she wraps arms around him, kissing him full on before they settle against the mattress. 

Adam wakes up panting. He’s hard and aching and the guilt and fear creep back on him. He rises and goes back to his usual pondering place, sitting by the stairs. He hopes she’s still alive, that she didn’t send him this dream as a goodbye. 

xxxxx

When they rescue her, he can’t stop himself from holding her against him. Adam doesn’t let go of Jaz, pressing her against his beating heart, and no one tries to pry her away from him, because he needs her as much as she needs him. No one ever voiced anything when it comes to how deep his feelings run for Jaz, and he’s damn grateful they don’t start doing it now. 

She clings to him when they get to the hospital and he follows her like the love-stricken lost puppy he is. The doctors want him to leave, but Jaz protest and they relent, letting him stay in the corner as they peel her clothes away from her bruised body. He’s seen her half naked a number of times before today, but there’s no desire in that moment. His eyes cast downwards because he can’t stand the sight of her in such bad shape. Fear and anger tug at his throat as he does his best to keep his emotions in check. 

Her gaze sets on him, her eyes darkening as she notices the conflicted feelings that are probably etched on his face. 

Adam wants to cross the room, to fold her in his arms, to hold her and kiss her until everything turns back to normal, until Jaz is back to not feeling pain, to teasing the guys and winking at him with complicity. But she’s there, in worse shape than he’s ever seen her been, and he feels his vision blurring once again. 

All he knows is that he has to get out of there. He can’t stay with her so broken next to him. 

 

xxxxx

 

After McG knocks some sense into him, Adam visits Jaz in the hospital. The conversation turns to sex and her lack of confidence in any future encounter due to her scars and even though Adam doesn’t want anyone touching her, -ever- he still can’t resist telling her that she’s beautiful.

He’s thought so since the first time he laid eyes on her. Once upon a time, when their newest sniper had crossed the Quonset’s threshold, a tiny bundle of nerves and wits tempered with a devastating anger at the world, Adam had found himself swept off his feet. She was on her guard and he knew where she came from. After all he’d been that angry kid a few years back. The guys had whistled and he’d done his best to act professional, because as much as that shapely body attracted certain parts of him, it was those deep, bottomless eyes of hers that had him reaching for her soul. 

So he buys her her favorite flower and drops it on her bed when McG goes to get her discharged. Thinking about her letter, he decides to write a line about the flower being almost as pretty as her. 

It’s corny and sappy and the most romantic thing he’s ever allowed himself to do. But Jaz makes him want to reach out for parts of himself he didn’t even knew existed. Seeing her doubting her beauty shook him more than he’d like to admit, because to him, she’s the prettiest woman he’s ever seen. 

That night she has a nightmare and wakes up screaming and whimpering. Adam quickly gets on his feet, running for her room, but he finds her door ajar, light streaming on the hallway floor. Crouched in front of her is McG, whispering things he can’t hear, thumbs whipping down her cheeks in a tender gesture. 

Adam tries in vain to fight back the jealousy, but he can’t help it. He wants to be the one helping Jaz, the one she leans into, the one who dries her tears in the middle of the night. 

He should be going back to sleep, he knows, but instead he sinks down on the floor, back against her wall, knees to his chest. She falls back asleep eventually and McG slowly closes the door behind him as he exits Jaz’s bedroom, stopping when he sees Adam. He joins him against the wall, eyes haunted. 

« Is she good? » croaks out Adam, and the desperation in his voice almost makes him wince. But he’s got no more energy for petty things like hiding how he feels. It’s not exactly a state secret and he doesn’t care if McG sees him fussing over Jaz. Not anymore. 

McG’s hand reaches for his shoulder, a firm grip designed to anchor him to this moment. « She’ll be fine. She’s safe. She’s home, » he whispers and Adam does his best to believe him. 

 

xxxxx

 

From this moment on, Adam starts to watch for Jaz like a hawk. He arranges his days around her to make sure he can always have an eye on his sniper. He knows he’s being extreme, but everytime he can’t see her, he ends up in a state of panic that has him cursing under his breath. So many women in the world and he had to fall for the only one he isn’t even allowed to think of. 

Adam chuckles under his breath at the irony of the situation. He’s been telling everyone for years that he doesn’t want to settle down, that the whole family thing isn’t for him. He’s spent his entire life believing those words, yet it took a mere three years for Jaz to sweep into his life and turn it upside down. 

Now all he wants is to have her for himself. There’s a protective beast crawling down in his stomach everytime he sees another man looking at her, and it makes him step closer to her, part protective, part possessive. 

He could see himself buying a house with her and filing it with kids. If only he could get her somewhere safe where she won’t risk getting taken again. 

Adam starts to become obsessed with getting her back to the states. After all, how could she be safer than back home? It also doesn’t help that she keeps being a buckhead when it comes to training, hammering relentlessly into her punching bag even though he sees her wincing in pain whenever she thinks he’s not looking. 

He catches her when she’s alone on a random afternoon, knocking at her door. 

She’s still in her pajamas when she answers and Adam does his best not to look at her peaking nipples. He swallows, both from arousal and apprehension, and closes her door behind him. Jaz returns to the bed, smoothing down the rumpled covers, as if making her bedroom more presentable would make this situation more… acceptable. 

He’s not supposed to be in her bedroom. Well there’s no explicit rules about that, but they both know that their feelings for each other go deeper than the standard commander/subordinate relationship, and the two of them alone in her bedroom can only lead to more tentation.   
Adam does his best not to think about the last time _she_ was in his room. How she comforted him and held him through the night, how he kissed her while crying. They’ve never really talked about it, and he wonders if he should. 

« Top, » starts Jaz after a few long seconds of silence. She’s gently pushing him to finally say what he came here to say, her hopeful eyes so full of love and understanding, and Adam has to swallow another ball in his throat. 

« Do you want to go back stateside? »

« What? » Her head whips around, her huge eyes so much darker than usual.

Adam clears his throat. « I think you should, » he admits. 

She looks hurt. Her body, which had previously been leaning towards his, straightens up very suddenly, breaking the magnet-like chasm they have. « I survived. You don’t have to babysit me. I can go back on the field and whip asses, »

He normally likes this bravado. In fact, he usually finds it endearing and a little bit of a turn on, but this time, it only raises the panic that’s been steadily rising for the past few days. Jaz will get cleared eventually, and she’ll go back on the field and he’ll have to deal with his own demons. Adam doesn’t want her to come back so soon, he doesn’t want to have to deal with his failure in Tehran. He wants her safe, tucked in an American cocoon where he can be sure nothing ever happens to her again. 

« Jazzy-»

« Don’t Jazzy me, » she cuts, voice rising. « You’re no better than the others if you send me back. I thought you of all people knew how hard it was for me to get there. I won’t get cut back because I’m a girl who got a little bruised, »

« Why can’t you just do this for me? Go home where I know you’re safe? » He shouts his question when he doesn’t mean to. The words stumble out of his mouth, revealing more than he initially thought they would. 

To his surprise, Jaz’s gaze softens. She sits back down on the bed and he joins her and, this time, her body doesn’t hesitate to lean in his direction. « You’re my home, » she whispers, barely high enough for him to hear. 

His heart jumps high in his chest and he has to talk himself down. They might be toeing the line more and more these days, it doesn’t mean they should. 

« Jaz.» It’s not a warning but it’s almost one. The conviction is lacking. 

« I know, » 

Adam keeps sitting next to her on her bed, exhaling, heart beating fast. He remembers how she felt in his arms after Elijah, how her mouth moved against his when Michael happened. How he keeps waking up reaching for her and finding nothing but empty sheets. His heart races and he curses himself. His feelings are too raw, too powerful and it scares him. 

Adam’s hand finds Jaz’s, his palm engulfing her little one. 

He clears his throat. She deserves the truth, or at least a parcel of it. « I hope you know that… me too, »

She tucks her chin, her hair falling over her face, making it impossible for him to see her reaction. The air around them is thick, the emotions palpable. 

Adam wants to tell her how glad he is that she’s back here, safe and sound, but the words get stuck in his throat. Instead his hand leaves her so his arm can wrap around her waist. He needs to feel Jaz being close to him, to sense her blood rushing under his fingertips. There was a time not too long ago where he thought he’d never be able to feel her skin against his, to hear her deep groveling laugh as she teased the boys, to smell that smell that he automatically associates with Jaz. 

His head falls over hers and they stay there a long time.

That night he gets inside her room and sleeps on the floor for the first time. In a way, he’s glad she decided to stay in Turkey because he can monitor her progress. He also has accessibility to Jaz and he can always come inside her room and make sure she’s still alive and breathing and safe next to him. 

Three days after Jaz calls him out on it and that night, they fall asleep together for the first time in months. Adam waits until she’s sleeping to kiss her forehead and tuck her into the cradle of his body, not believing that he gets to hold her every night.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think ;) oh and once again I’m working on your prompts, feel free to shoot more my way :)


End file.
